To All The Men I Love, Fancy and Want To Sleep With…And Everyone In-between

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Dear Guy I Went on One Date With But Can’t Stop Thinking About,

I know, it’s pretty weird that I’m writing to you. I mean, it was just a cinema date, it was pretty uneventful. We watched a romcom where Zac Efron played the lead and a baby-faced Michael B Jordan was his best mate. It was nothing special. And if I remember correctly, you were late and me and my cute knee high boots stood outside waiting. Plus, I’m pretty sure you only asked me out after I called you a “looking ass nigga” that takes a girl’s number but does nothing with it. (I know, I am funny right.)

But, this is not about my wit, I am writing to you today because, honestly sir, I’ve had enough. I want you out, I need you to stop taking up space in my head.

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I think about you way too often. I think about your calm, your G’d up calm. I think about how you wear your hat to the side. And just seeing a picture of you triggers memories that we have never shared.

You continuously make a fool of my “man a di least of mi problem” disguise. My thoughts of you are constant and it’s mad because you ain’t even that cute. Ok, I’m chatting shit, you really are that cute. You have that mix I’ve prayed for. The perfect mix of “art heaux” and “about it heaux”, a mix that is exclusive to you.

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And I’m aware my thoughts of you may surpass the man you actually are and I almost want to date you, have you hurt me (but only by a little bit, because a bitch really can’t take any more pain) and then keep it moving. At least then I can have a resolve. A peace of mind.

Sincerely,

The girl that keeps thinking about you, but would really like to stop.

It’s enough!

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Written by: Tolani Shoneye


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