Toxic couples can be found everywhere – and they never come about by accident. Of course, there will be some couples who are just inherently incompatible. But you have to understand that incompatibility doesn’t automatically indicate toxicity. Just because two people are incompatible doesn’t mean that they’re automatically going to have a toxic relationship. But incompatibility is a huge factor that could potentially create a toxic atmosphere in a relationship.
However, at the end of the day, it all boils down to how two people interact with one another in a relationship. A lot of times, toxic atmospheres in relationships don’t just sprout out naturally. These toxic environments are often made and molded by the behaviors and habits of the people in the relationship. So whether you’re compatible or incompatible with one another or not, if you’re continually practicing bad habits in your relationship, then you are contributing to that toxic atmosphere yourself.
Remember that all of our relationships all have inherent personalities that depend on our own individual traits and characteristics. And we give life to the personality of our relationship with our habits and daily doings. So if we are constantly engaging ourselves in toxic habits, then we are also creating a toxic personality for our relationships as a whole. And that’s why you must always make it a point to make yourself aware of your own behavior in your relationship; and how your words and actions are impacting the relationship as a whole.
It can be difficult to generalize all toxic relationships into one category. All relationships are unique and different after all. But it’s fair to point out common trends and patterns that emerge from these toxic romances. It’s easy to highlight common habits that people in toxic relationships practice. Design yourself aware of these habits and make sure that you don’t bring them into your own relationships as well. If you are practicing these habits in your relationship already,
then you need to make the necessary correction if you want to save your romance. Here are common bad habits that you might be guilty of which are causing you to have a toxic relationship.
1. You keep all of your feelings and emotions bottled up inside.
It’s never good to keep your thoughts and feelings bottled up inside. When you’re in a truly loving relationship with someone, you should both always feel safe enough to open up to one another about anything. If you keep your feelings bottled up, you are only cultivating more and more bitterness within your soul.
2. You don’t make your partner feel valued and appreciated.
It’s not enough that you value your partner in your own space. You actually have to make them feel your appreciation and gratitude for everything that they do for you. You have to make them know that you consider them to be essential to you. If you don’t, then you are letting their insecurities brew within them. And insecurities are great contributors to toxicity.
3. You run away from arguments instead of coming to a resolution on them.
Don’t be so afraid of conflict. Conflict in a relationship is healthy – you just have to know how to come to a resolution or a compromise in a healthy and mature manner. You can’t just be sweeping your problems under a rug in the hopes that they go away on their own.
4. You don’t make an effort to listen to your partner.
One of the most effective ways of dispelling toxicity in a relationship is by engaging in constant communication with one another. And part of having healthy communication is actually hearing out your partner and listening to whatever they might have to say. If you don’t let your partner feel like you are willing to listen to them, you are being toxic.
5. You don’t find ways to connect and bond with one another in your relationship.
It’s natural for you to go through your fair share of ruts in your relationship. It’s a rollercoaster ride and you’re not always going to be on a high. And it’s essential for you to always remain adaptive and dynamic. You have to be able to find new ways to always connect with one another to keep your flame alive.
6. You break promises and commitment to your partner.
One of the most effective ways to lose someone’s trust in you is to not follow up on the things that you say you’re going to do. You must always make it a point to live up to your word. Otherwise, you are distancing yourself further and further from your partner.
7. You always prioritize other things in life over your relationship.
Of course, you shouldn’t making your life solely about your relationship. You are allowed to have other facets of life that require your attention. However, it would be wrong for you to always be allowing your relationship to take a backseat. Take note that in life, you’re going to have to balance your time properly. And if you don’t make time for your relationship, you are essentially taking it for granted.
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The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé