Sometimes, the best lessons we can learn are from those who have tried and failed. We can learn from their failures so that we don’t have to go through them ourselves. Here are 15 essential lessons from men who have had their relationships go horribly wrong.
1. Don’t stop courting your girl. Just because she’s your girl already doesn’t give you the right to take her for granted. You can’t afford to be complacent in your relationship. You can’t relax and think that everything is going to turn out fine even if you only give minimal effort. Always work hard for your woman’s love. Display her you’re a man who is worth staying with.
2. Like her with all your heart; but love yourself as well.
3. Always remind yourself of the reasons why you love her. When you consciously make it a point to remind yourself of why you love her, you motivate yourself to love her even more. You are giving yourself a reason to always treat her better. And by doing so, you are also subconsciously reminding her of why she loves you in return as well.
4. Choose to focus on the positives without blinding yourself to the negatives. Yes, it’s essential to still see the many flaws and imperfections that make up your partner and your relationship. But it’s always essential to focus on the positives. Always maintain a positive outlook whenever possible.
5. You have no right to change her. She is her own person – and she doesn’t have to live life by your standards.
6. Be accountable to your words and actions. Own up to everything that you say and do in your relationship. Own up to your failures and your shortcomings. Acknowledge your faults and your imperfections. Really live up to the words that you utter. Display your partner that you are mature enough to be in a relationship.
7. Don’t take yourself also seriously. No one likes to be around someone who is always so serious and moody all of the time. Learn to lighten up. See the beauty that life has to offer you. Display your partner that you can still see the world through rose-colored lenses. You don’t always have to have such a pessimistic and cynical view of everything.
8. Be generous with her on a sexual level. Don’t be content with merely thinking of yourself.
9. Be forward-thinking but not at the expense of living in the moment. When you’re in a relationship, it’s evident that you want it to last if it makes you happy. And when you want your relationship to last, you always keep an eye on the future. Preparation is key after all. But be careful to not let your foresight deprive you from experiencing the beauty and joy of the present. Always remember to live in the moment.
10. Respect her boundaries and individuality. Just because you choose to be in a relationship doesn’t mean that you are automatically entitled to invading each other’s boundaries. You can’t overstep in your relationship. You don’t want to be disrespecting your partner; you don’t want to be violating your partner’s trust.
11. Allow yourself to be vulnerable with her. Cease putting up so many walls. You are only going to drive her away by doing so. Let her in. Be vulnerable with her. Let her see who you are and just trust that she is going to love you regardless of what she sees.
12. Always be honest with her even if it gets you into trouble. Don’t take the easy way out by lying your way into a place of safety. Always respect your woman enough to come clean with her. Respect her enough to know that she is always worthy of the truth even if it means having to throw yourself under the bus for it to come out.
13. Never stop living a life of your own. Just because you get into a relationship with someone doesn’t mean that you have to stop living for yourself. You still have to be able to pursue the things that you are passionate about. You should still have friendships and relations outside of your romantic relationship. Your relationship shouldn’t be the only thing that defines your life.
14. Be as patient and as forgiving as possible. She is going to screw up a lot. Your relationship isn’t always going to be in an ideal state. But that is why you always have to be patient. You don’t want to throw away a lifelong love for temporary negativity.
15. Be confident in the strength of your love to pull you through. At the end of the day, the both of you always get the final say on whether your relationship is going to work or not. And if you continue to believe in the power of your love; if you choose to love one another despite the trials and challenges that come your way, then you always have a fighting chance at making your love last.
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé