What is love?
That’s one question that has been asked time and time again throughout the course of human history; and yet, so many of us will scramble to come up with a definitive answer. It’s funny how the single most coveted human experience in the world is also the one thing which we all have difficulty describing accurately. A lot of us can still misunderstand what love is – and for that reason we struggle to find it in our own lives. And once we do, we struggle even harder to keep it there.
The only way we can preserve true love in our lives is if we actually take the time to understand what it is.Naturally, we are all inclined to crave for love. We all crave for human interaction. We all want to establish special bonds and connections with the people around us – with a special person in particular. And naturally, we are all also inclined to believe that loneliness, solitude, and rejection are detrimental to our standards of living. Solitude can often have many negative effects on both the physical and emotional self.
And that’s why we all want to be interacting with other people in an intimate capacity – just so we don’t feel like we have to face this life alone. So here are a few things you might have gotten wrong about love; and why you need to correct your perspective right away.
1. Like is not the same as attachment and lust.
Attachment does not equate to love; and love doesn’t equate to attachment either. In fact, these two are very different sensations that are often mixed up with one another. When you get attached to someone, you are merely latching on to the idea of a person; but not necessarily the person themselves. But when you love someone, you don’t always feel the need to be with that person because the love isn’t dependent on anything else other than itself.
2. Like can be both a temporary feeling and a permanent state of being.
It’s possible to feel love temporarily – and it’s also possible to love someone forever. There are no bounds to the time stamps of love. Just because a love didn’t last forever doesn’t mean that it’s an invalid kind of love.
3. Like is always going to require a lot of work and effort.
Like isn’t something that grows organically on its own. In order for a love to work, you always have to give effort to it. You have to want it to grow. You have to take an active role in acting strengthening and shaping your love.
4. There are no limits to which we can love another person.
Just because you love one particular person a lot doesn’t mean that you’re not allowed or that you’re not capable of loving another person in the same manner. There are not limits to the amount of love that you can give other people.
5. Like can have positive effects on the human body.
It’s amazing the wonders that love can do for the human body. It’s not merely an emotional effect; but a physical one as well. Studies have shown that people who love more also tend to live healthier and more energetic lives.
6. Like is something that requires focus and attention if it’s going to grow.
Like in a relationship doesn’t grow unless you will it to. You always have to give it attention. It’s not like money that you leave in a bank and grows on its own over time without you realizing it. It’s always something you have to continually work at if you want it to grow.
7. You can always increase your capacity to love someone.
There is never a ceiling on your love for a particular person. You could be together in a relationship for 20 years with someone, and your love could still be growing even as time goes by. There is no cap on the love that you can have for another individual in this life.
8. Like is a choice; and therefore, it is always conditional.
You ALWAYS choose to love another person. It’s not something that is beyond your control. And therefore, it’s impossible for love to be unconditional. There are reasons that you give yourself to love another person. And it’s something that you choose to do every day.
9. Like can be very contagious.
When you tend to give love to the people around you, it’s highly likely that they will return that love to you; and they will end up spreading it around to other people as well. A lot of people say that hatred and evil are the opposite of love. And the only way to drive these negative things out of our lives is through loving harder.
10. Like is constantly changing.
The way that you love a person isn’t going stagnant. It’s not something that stays the same all the time. It’s constantly growing or diminishing. It is dynamic. And it’s up to you to make sure that the love that you have for a person you care about is always growing.
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé